Freedom Day
Tomorrow is my freedom day. Freedom from being a one-handed individual. My left wrist was fractured last July 15 (Friday) and from then, I felt inhibited and restrained.
Let's go back to that fateful night and check if I can remember everything (no more traces of retrograde amnesia*!)...
Yes, I went back to Ascott after having dinner with Cathy, her Aunt, her cousin Mike, and Ann at Xin Jishi**. To prepare for tomorrow's out-of-town Hangzhou trip, I decided to turn in early and went to the bathroom to change. The next thing I knew, I woke up with a very sore hand and, and --- couldn't remember anything that happened before I woke up. Sounds silly, diba?! But it's TRUE!!! I kept on walking and walking inside the room, going to the living room, kitchen, etc. but I couldn't remember where I am! I decided to call someone --- anyone just to help me recall where I am. Everything seemed jumbled somewhere in the deepest recesses of my brains. I just couldn't get my mind to figure out what is happening to me.
I used my PH mobile and called Ann. (Good thing that a part of my brain was still sane and told me not to call my mom, so I called Ann's CN mobile instead.) Instantly, Ann knew something was wrong because I called her using my PH instead of my CN number. I kept on telling her that I don't know where I am. So she went to my room and saw my swollen hand and immediately called Cathy. They stayed calm so I could stay calm but in their heart, they knew that they have to take me to the hospital.
Though the hospital was just a few blocks away, one of the hotel security head accompanied us and helped us with everything. As the nurses couldn't understand my name (Patricia)...they took it upon themselves to invent a Chinese name for me for their records --- yes everything was in Chinese. Instantly, I became called Ju Li. (That is probably like the Jane Doe or John Doe in China ... haha!).
While waiting for the doctor, I felt I was about to throw up...and I threw up. Immediately, all events came rushing and my mind felt like it was going fast-forward and was quickly absorbing all memories that I seemed to have lost a while ago. Instantly, I regained everything and was back to the same old "bubbly" Pat. I kept on talking and verifying everything we did to make sure that I didn't lose anything --- I kept on saying: "Oh we're in Shanghai, right?!", "It's because of P2P...", "We had dinner at Xin Jishi...", and "I was in the bathroom, felt dizzy, fainted, and fell." (My wrist supported my whole body and this was the cause of the fracture.)
To cut the long story short, my fractured wrist was X-rayed, plaster-casted, and I was sent home. I had fractured my wrist, lost my consciousness and memory for a while, and I had to go rest. I stayed at the room the whole weekend since I had another check-up on Monday.
Monday came and the 'Specialist' was there...take note, the 'Specialist'cannot speak English. He was talking but I couldn't understand a word he was saying and before I knew it, he has twisted my wrist without warning, whatsoever. (Well, he probably warned me...and I didn't understand.) I had no choice but to cry and shout at the same time...silently cursing the throbbing pain in my wrist. And finally, the worst was over and I had survived...though with tears in my eyes. Again, my wrist was placed in a cast and the next day I flew home.
Home sweet home. I went to two physicians and had my wrist checked. Trusting my instincts, I decided to seek the advice of the doctor who told me that the best solution for my fractured wrist is to have the external fixator*** implanted. This would allow me to move my hands, fingers --- this was good for me as I need my fingers for typing! But then I had to undergo surgery and honestly, this was the first time that I was hospitalized. (Oh sorry...second, the first one was the China hospital pala...) After surgery, I couldn't feel anything but after a while I felt pain that I cannot possibly explain. It was so painful that I couldn't move the rest of my body. For almost a month, I had this device in my left wrist. I seemed to have gotten fond of it. And the doctor was right...I could type, move my fingers, and I even tried to drive two days ago! I don't want to go to surgery again --- but I guess I have to again --- tomorrow. The only way to have this fixator removed is to feel pain again. After tomorrow, I assume things will be back to normal. No more restraints. The only way to regain freedom is to feel pain. I guess that's life for me --- the ultimate balance.
_______________________
*retrograde amnesia - Inability to remember events that occurred before the incidence of trauma or the onset of the disease that caused the amnesia
**Xin Jishi - Shanghainese restaurant serving yummy food like barbequed pork ribs, wine chicken, bun, etc.
***external fixator - device providing rigid immobilization through external skeletal fixation by means of rods attached to pins which are placed in or through the bone.
Let's go back to that fateful night and check if I can remember everything (no more traces of retrograde amnesia*!)...
Yes, I went back to Ascott after having dinner with Cathy, her Aunt, her cousin Mike, and Ann at Xin Jishi**. To prepare for tomorrow's out-of-town Hangzhou trip, I decided to turn in early and went to the bathroom to change. The next thing I knew, I woke up with a very sore hand and, and --- couldn't remember anything that happened before I woke up. Sounds silly, diba?! But it's TRUE!!! I kept on walking and walking inside the room, going to the living room, kitchen, etc. but I couldn't remember where I am! I decided to call someone --- anyone just to help me recall where I am. Everything seemed jumbled somewhere in the deepest recesses of my brains. I just couldn't get my mind to figure out what is happening to me.
I used my PH mobile and called Ann. (Good thing that a part of my brain was still sane and told me not to call my mom, so I called Ann's CN mobile instead.) Instantly, Ann knew something was wrong because I called her using my PH instead of my CN number. I kept on telling her that I don't know where I am. So she went to my room and saw my swollen hand and immediately called Cathy. They stayed calm so I could stay calm but in their heart, they knew that they have to take me to the hospital.
Though the hospital was just a few blocks away, one of the hotel security head accompanied us and helped us with everything. As the nurses couldn't understand my name (Patricia)...they took it upon themselves to invent a Chinese name for me for their records --- yes everything was in Chinese. Instantly, I became called Ju Li. (That is probably like the Jane Doe or John Doe in China ... haha!).
While waiting for the doctor, I felt I was about to throw up...and I threw up. Immediately, all events came rushing and my mind felt like it was going fast-forward and was quickly absorbing all memories that I seemed to have lost a while ago. Instantly, I regained everything and was back to the same old "bubbly" Pat. I kept on talking and verifying everything we did to make sure that I didn't lose anything --- I kept on saying: "Oh we're in Shanghai, right?!", "It's because of P2P...", "We had dinner at Xin Jishi...", and "I was in the bathroom, felt dizzy, fainted, and fell." (My wrist supported my whole body and this was the cause of the fracture.)
To cut the long story short, my fractured wrist was X-rayed, plaster-casted, and I was sent home. I had fractured my wrist, lost my consciousness and memory for a while, and I had to go rest. I stayed at the room the whole weekend since I had another check-up on Monday.
Monday came and the 'Specialist' was there...take note, the 'Specialist'cannot speak English. He was talking but I couldn't understand a word he was saying and before I knew it, he has twisted my wrist without warning, whatsoever. (Well, he probably warned me...and I didn't understand.) I had no choice but to cry and shout at the same time...silently cursing the throbbing pain in my wrist. And finally, the worst was over and I had survived...though with tears in my eyes. Again, my wrist was placed in a cast and the next day I flew home.
Home sweet home. I went to two physicians and had my wrist checked. Trusting my instincts, I decided to seek the advice of the doctor who told me that the best solution for my fractured wrist is to have the external fixator*** implanted. This would allow me to move my hands, fingers --- this was good for me as I need my fingers for typing! But then I had to undergo surgery and honestly, this was the first time that I was hospitalized. (Oh sorry...second, the first one was the China hospital pala...) After surgery, I couldn't feel anything but after a while I felt pain that I cannot possibly explain. It was so painful that I couldn't move the rest of my body. For almost a month, I had this device in my left wrist. I seemed to have gotten fond of it. And the doctor was right...I could type, move my fingers, and I even tried to drive two days ago! I don't want to go to surgery again --- but I guess I have to again --- tomorrow. The only way to have this fixator removed is to feel pain again. After tomorrow, I assume things will be back to normal. No more restraints. The only way to regain freedom is to feel pain. I guess that's life for me --- the ultimate balance.
_______________________
*retrograde amnesia - Inability to remember events that occurred before the incidence of trauma or the onset of the disease that caused the amnesia
**Xin Jishi - Shanghainese restaurant serving yummy food like barbequed pork ribs, wine chicken, bun, etc.
***external fixator - device providing rigid immobilization through external skeletal fixation by means of rods attached to pins which are placed in or through the bone.
My left hand:
My X-rayed left hand:
posted by patricia at 2:02 AM
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